I am neither an ambulance, nor a rehabilitation center...

Trying to make the other happy, while being unhappy yourself, is a bet on failure. Shared happiness begins in individual happiness.

Which is more difficult? ...

There is no perfect recipe, only small steps that are forming our path. It's time to move, to get out of where we are and to take action.

We can start from where we are, without being clear about the end, and that is a valid way to move forward.

No matter how hard we try, the truth is that we cannot save someone who does not want to be saved.

Because my purpose in life is NOT to rescue those who choose to sink. What I do do is always save myself without excuses and with a lot of determination.

For example, in my Hispanic culture.

How difficult it is to understand, that we must first seek our well-being, because if we do not do so we will be more sunk at the end of the road.

Personally, I am not an ambulance, nor am I a rehabilitation center. And what I'm talking about applies to couples, and to family members too, that is, it applies to all our relationships.

To understand this is to mature emotionally.

Since I've had the use of reason, I've always been told that love can do anything, that if one gives enough, the other person will react, not that it's going, this is a pure tale of paths. The truth is that no one changes because I want to, changes because he decides to do it. And if someone chooses to go under there's nothing I can do...except NOT to go down with that person.

I say this because no matter how much we want to help someone, it is essential not to confuse love with extreme sacrifice, or loyalty with self-sabotage.

And at some breaking point, if we really love and value each other, the best thing is to make the decision on time "stay waiting for the other person to decide and take care of himself, or move on to be my best version.

What should be done about this? To understand and to let go, and not, is a selfish attitude. So the best thing is to stop making so many excuses for ourselves, and stop justifying the unjustifiable.

I don't know, it's about not being loved, it's about change being my responsibility. Either we take control of our lives, I mean "the bull by the cheeks", or we just get used to seeing how others move on without one, and by the way they pass over you.

Since the day I decided to let go of the spear and run to the rescue of everyone first, forgetting about me, once I decided to change my perspective, I understood that each person has to fight their own battles for more family or close ones, I learned to set healthier limits and consequently I have learned to live more free of burdens and guilt that do not correspond to me. As much as it hurts to do this, this is how it should be, and letting go of the guilt that is never missing.

Janitze 🦋