There I was again, smelling that smell of fear, fear, anxiety, madness, loneliness, sadness, and about to continue down until I reached that dark and gloomy place from which very few manage to get out, and yes, there I was again seeing that thing that managed to leave me paralyzed and that would have the strength to slowly consume my soul.
Yes, I was there watching that vicious thing stalk a very dear person, and I felt it slowly snatch her out of my hands and I could also watch it mock me, because I could possibly be its next victim.
I grabbed my person and screamed at it, shook it, hit it with everything I could to try to bring it back and even tried my best not to let it know what it is like to be so immersed in sorrow, sadness and loneliness.
You don't know when I hated her, because I knew she was not fighting to get out of there, on the contrary, she was fighting to continue giving herself to the darkness and every word she said and every action only ended up leading her to ruin.
That scenario I was witnessing seemed so terrifying and I could only wonder if that was the way in which long ago I almost destroyed myself completely and from which I am still struggling not to let myself fall again. Although, I look at my person, and I feel that she does not have the same strength, I think she is much more sensitive or maybe I have grown up enough to realize that I can be stronger than I look, but what good is that to me if I can't find a way to help her?
I could feel how helplessness slowly invaded me and I was filled with anger when I saw that thing smiling from the shadows because I knew it was winning the battle and, apparently it was not as strong as I thought because it was there with the desire to destroy, to throw everything away, the desire to hurt me because I could not with that blow of reality that life was giving me. Although, I could not allow myself to give up and not keep fighting, that is, my person, my best friend in the world, was there, surrendering to life and allowing the enemy to end her beautiful light.
Yes, I was there paralyzed, thinking that again I would have to face that which threatens our mental stability. Although, I was afraid to return from that place without my person. So I ran to her, took her hand and shouted again: -You are strong, you are great, you can do it, please don't let yourself be defeated, please, I beg you, PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!
Resources:
- I make use of translator for Spanish to English translation.
- A writing product of my imagination.