Sweeter But Grumpier...

in voilk •  3 months ago

    I’ve been trying to work on a good sleeping schedule for months now. Heck, I’ve been trying to perfect a complete day schedule but so far I haven’t been so successful. These kinds of things usually need a good degree of discipline for them to work and unfortunately, I haven’t perfected the early to bed, early to rise discipline.

    I don’t know whether to place myself among the early birds or the night owls. I do aspire to be an early bird but a lot of things get in the way. I guess being away from home should make it much easier to get my sleeping schedule right since I wouldn’t be called incessantly and have to disrupt my schedule but it still hasn’t been as easy to achieve as I hoped.

    What may keep me up late at night could either be studying, reading novels, watching a series, making a late-night phone call or even watching TikTok. But no matter how enjoyable whatever I’m doing is, when I wake up by 6.30 am after sleeping by some minutes to 5am, you can trust that I’ll be incredibly grumpy.

    I'd wake up with so many regrets, all centring on the fact that I should have slept earlier. It has a way of ruining not just my mood but my whole concept of the day. The slightest things get to me and I’m not able to concentrate in class, I’m snapping at everyone and through it all, I feel uncomfortable in my skin, my eyes hurt and above all, I’m craving the comfort of my bed. Saying it doesn't pan out well would be undermining it.

    I remember how my friend who stays off campus took one look at me one day in class and was like, “Okay, I get it. I’ll keep out of your skin for the whole of today.” I was taken aback and asked her why and she said, “The scowl on your face. It’s the I had a bad night and if you try me, I’ll beat you up kind of scowl.” I think that single statement even lifted my mood a bit cause I remember smiling. The fact that my friends knew me so well. She did keep out of my way or at least tried not to say anything triggering but I also went out of my way to be extra nice to everyone despite the pains in my eye and the gloominess I felt.

    Switching to another perspective, I remember the week after I promised myself that I was going to try to sleep early. And for that one week, it was bliss. I planned every action of my day to the tee and did my best to follow it. I don’t know how noticeable it is but I like writing my posts at night. I don’t know if it’s something of choice or that my brain configures to writing mood almost always from 8pm but waiting till then is a guarantee to sleeping late.

    So what I did was to think of my posts from the previous night. I would mull over it till I slept and by the time I would wake up, I would have an almost concrete idea of what I would write that day. Throughout the day while going on my usual activities, I’d draft the post in my head so that by the time I got back to the dorms from school and take a shower, I’d immediately open my Word app and begin writing.

    I published way earlier in that one week and by 9pm or 9:30 at the most, I was already in la la land, dreaming away. What was almost constant was the smile I’d have on my face when I woke up. Pausing this to say that there’s almost nothing that sets your day on track and in motion like sleeping early. So, I would wake up with a smile on my face and ready to take the world by storm.

    Naturally, I don’t smile at all when I walk on the road but I’ll have on my relaxed face instead of a scowl on my face. I’ll be extra accommodating to others, I’d eat well and even the boring drone of some of the lecturers wouldn’t even bother me because I’m picking on every word like it’s my favourite novel.

    Talking about this now brings a smile to my face because I remember how good it felt. I’ve been slacking a lot these past few weeks but I hope to get things in order starting this week. As I said, it’s mostly a discipline thing but I’ve learned to be more positive that these things aren’t beyond me to achieve no matter how hard they seem. So yeah, night owl Jhymi is going, giving rise to the perpetual, early-bird Jhymi. Hopefully.

    Jhymi🖤


    Image is mine.

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