Stop fighting the uncontrollable: Find peace and happiness in what you can control

in voilk •  4 months ago

    How many times in your life have you felt as if you had no control over a situation? We are often stubborn and want to change everything, despite giving ourselves accountability that is not in our control.

    You think too much about what you don't want and what's wrong, or what you have and it's good, but you're spending so much time on what you can't control, exhausting your mind, occupying time that you're wasting, making your body produce cortisol, and raising your stress level. We have to understand that so we strive, we cannot change circumstances or people; that's in our environment.

    "If you don't get what you want, you suffer. If you get what you don't want, you suffer. Even when you get exactly what you want, you're still suffering because you know you can't have it forever. Your mind creates that situation.” Socrates wrote.

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    Our mind creates situations and moments that make us suffer, not having full happiness. In those moments, we are so filled with anger and feel frustrated, but we can do so that we do not continue to suffer for this feeling, for the desire to want to change everything. In these moments that we are, the best thing is to calm our minds, seek peace, and seek happiness in the little things that we have, in what we can control, because if we focus on what we can't control, we won't be happy beings, if not that we're locked in that idea.

    The first thing we must do is accept and understand that there are things that we cannot control. Already being in this step is one of maturity and wisdom, because accepting it allows us to free ourselves from these frustrations, of stress, of feeling sad or bad, since we let go of that which is not stagnating, making us feel light and with clarity towards the future. I know this isn't easy to do, but we have to change and focus on what doesn't make you happy. To get to do this, we need to practice some key points that we must put into practice, such as:

    • Learn to Accept: We must recognize that there are situations or aspects in ours that we cannot change or control. For example, when you apply for a job and attend an interview, you do not remain among the picked; you cannot control whether or not you are employed, but you can invest in yourself and enhance your CV; these are things over which they have control.

    • Cultivate gratitude: Cultivating gratitude is good for learning to accept that what is not in our control is not in our control. As we thank for what we have, this is our life. Being a grateful person helps us stay away from complaining people or people that we want to control. Being grateful helps us appreciate what we have and rejoice with what we have.

    • Practice mindfulness: This will help you to focus our attention on the present. Humans are constantly thinking about the past and the future, two things we cannot change. Of our past, we can learn from it, and a future will depend on how we live in the present. Using these methods would help us enjoy our lives and value our present.

    • Identify your values and passions: Having identified our passions, which is what we like, doesn't make us happy. We can create activities that focus on our passion. When we are in that moment that we do not accept and want to transform something that is not in our hands, let us waste our time on this. Focus on what we know about our passions. This helps us to find a purpose in life and to experience a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Focusing on what really matters allows us to cultivate a positive and constructive attitude, which drives us to grow and develop as people.

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    We must focus on what makes us happy, which is a path to personal realization and lasting happiness. To leave aside what we cannot change that is not in our hands, we must know how to distinguish that, because by freeing ourselves from resistance and the struggle against reality, we open the door to inner peace and serenity.

    Live fully and be happy!

    All images created with Canva.com

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