I'm not really one for regrets, well I try not to be. Mostly because it's a waste of my time and life is too short, to focus on what could have been.
But.
What if I had got the dance lessons I so desired, when I was a child. The opportunity to follow my passion. Dance has always been such a huge part of my life. I can't remember a time in my life, when I wasn't dancing.
It's my favourite form of expression. When I dance I feel free. I feel fully myself.
But lessons were never an option for me, there was none happening nearby me and even if there were, I don't think we could have afforded them. But that didn't stop me from dancing.
There were times when I didn't dance very often, that coincided with me not being in a good place. A time when I began to loss my identity, my sense of self.
But eventually I found my way back. My way back to dancing and now today, I feel like I'm dancing more than I ever had. So that's why I wonder, if I'd had the opportunity to become a trained dancer, where would I be.
How would I even dance, I'm sure it would be different. Dancing for me is intuitive, I don't see myself, as following any particular style. It's really depends on the music and my mood.
I wonder how it would make me feel. To not be able to dance so freely. I remember one time, I attended a dance class in a gym. I really didn't want to to go, but I went to make someone else happy, which could have affected my experience. All I know, is that I couldn't follow the steps. They seemed super complicated and the instructor didn't suffer fools.
In the end I just done my own thing and she ( the instructor, chose to ignore). I never returned, no surprises there.
Like I said earlier, dance to me, is intertwined with freedom. The freedom to move as I like. So I wonder, if I had taken lessons, if the way I dance would have become more controlled. Therefore, preventing me from feeling so free.
I'm at that stage in my life, where I want to be doing more of what I love, whilst also inspiring others to do the same. To pursue what they are passion about.
I've long had this idea, of using what knowledge and experience I have around mental health and fusing it with my love of dance and music. Of helping others to explore the power of both of those things, when it comes to healing.
Our whole life, can be seen as a dance. One where movement, flow is so important. We all know what happens when we get stuck in life, when we find ourselves dwelling on one thing. The many feelings, that overwhelm us. What if, we find ways to move through it all. Our bodies first and then our minds will follow.
Movement that comes intuitively. Using different pieces of music to help us tap into those emotions and the movement that helps is to release them.
What if?
All photos used are mine.
