My brain really hurts right now.
I suppose that's just part of what I get for being alive this long.
Everything wears out eventually, and then we go back to the nothing we came from.
I guess my brain is just worn the fuck out, man.
I'll drink to that.
Don't overthink it.
Death.
The dreams have been pretty wild ever since I decided to stop blacking out every night.
Mostly they've involved wild situations at work and interactions with the coworker I've got a massive crush on.
For example —
Last night, in my dream, I walked into work to find everything in my department rearranged in a very clear fuck-the-man salute to chaos and disorder.
And even though I'm acting supervisor when the actual supervisor is absent — as was the case in my dream — nobody under my authority would do as I instructed while trying to rectify the situation.
In fact, they all laughed at my attempts to restore order.
I was enraged.
I threatened to involve upper management, and stormed off toward their offices, taking the long way there in order to process my thoughts.
The long way, fwiw, does not exist in reality.
It's a recurring thing in my dreams.
And every time I take the long way, there is a particular corridor where I feel incredibly slow.
Like I can barely even move… like I'm walking uphill on a treadmill that's moving against me.
At last I made it through the corridor, but it took a lot of dream work.
And this is the point where the dream shifted.
Now it was somehow all about my workplace crush.
In reality, she is very shy around me.
But in my dream, she was very engaged and enthusiastic.
There was a situation where a whole endcap of merch fell off the shelf, and I helped her scoop it up and reshelve it.
And also for some reason she had a vaguely Eastern European accent that I could barely understand, and was singing songs in a language I couldn't identify.
What a strange dream.
My psychologist dared me to only drink 3 beers a night.
That might sound silly, but for me, 3 beers is nothing.
I can't even feel it.
I'm an alcoholic, but I'm trying to not be an alcoholic.
Hence my creation of this account in an attempt to distract myself from drinking.
I tried to upload a profile picture, and it failed.
I tried to upload a photo for this post, and that failed too.
Brave, Opera, Firefox… failed on all browsers.
Super interesting platform here — would be nice if I could get photos into it, though.
I wish I had more self-esteem.
I wish I had the balls to ask her out.
But my brain is dead, man, and I got nothing.
@chaoticthoughts out.
✌️ 🤟 🤘
Today's stats:
pushups: 15
crunches: 15
miles (walking): 0.87
miles (running): 4.22
beers: 3
shark attacks: 0
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