I don't know if the same thing happens to anyone else, but yes, and I consider it sad... Perfectionism has been my great virtue, it is what has brought me to the place where I am today and it has been that special spark that has made me stand out in this artistic environment in which I find myself today. Every detail counts for me, every second and every movement, so it is strange that my most distinctive feature has also become the worst of my flaws, leading me to hit rock bottom many times, distancing me from people, leaving a sea of unfinished projects because they did not live up to my expectations and causing me many bad moments and headaches. So far in this blog I only show calculated details of what I want to express and no matter how simple a publication looks there is a lot of care behind it...
This picture above is not an image that has been approved by me in the past, and it's not that I never mount pictures where I'm clowning around, but there are details of my girl and I that beyond being a comical image is not worthy of being shared on social networks, but she still I keep it and today I show it on Weekend Engagement, that's the power that Galenkp themes have on me 😅 And speaking of my girl... That poor woman is the one who has to put up with my crazy stuff day in and day out, that's why I appreciate her so much, someone else would be gone by now. I want to explain a little bit of what I'm talking about through the following pictures:
Those of you who follow me may remember the photo of this Toucan that I shared last month here on Hive. I had very good comments for that image, I know it's very pretty, but still I wasn't totally satisfied because it's not perfect. In the picture above you can see my poor mom waiting for me to finish taking the picture 🙃 I took almost 100 pictures of her and I didn't really like any of them, but I was there for a long time. Although it was a beautiful day for everyone, that was a very awkward moment for my escorts, because I actually asked them to leave me alone at that moment and it was only a few minutes before the zoo closed. That's why I tell them that being a perfectionist is not all good, I feel that it brings personal benefits but added to a great stress. Obviously I had to apologize that day and I think I did not take another picture so detailed, I understood that I would have to come back one day alone, but that is another defect that perfectionism leaves when it is not well managed as in my case.
Here I was getting ready to take some good pictures, because I was looking good that day, but Jhoxiris came across and took some selfies 😅 I couldn't take pictures in that place anymore because right at that moment we got cut, so yes, I got annoyed with her for a while. I actually see my face in her selfies and I feel bad about myself, those expressions are terrible, like superiority, and I don't consider myself like that, I was in my modeling phase at that moment hehehehe, but I guess that's how I look when I walk my perfectionism to the max and others do things that are not up to par, it's something I've been working on a lot lately, and I'm doing great, my dad's death brought changes for the better in my life. At least I feel like I'm not bothering others anymore, just myself...
And this one above is my last profile picture for Hive, they were taken to celebrate my 6 years on the platform, but obviously I couldn't take them myself, I can't be a model, photographer and producer by myself, I have to learn to work in a team, so I get to be in the choir, although sometimes I would like to do all the voices by myself and avoid awkward moments 🤣 That face I have here is because I knew the picture wasn't going to look good, although I had given him specific rules on how to do it hahaha.... Yeah, I'm horrible, I don't know how Jhoxiris puts up with me. In fact I don't know if I'm happy with the profile picture I left, but I must learn to calm down and use perfectionism for good and not for evil.... In a perfect world, all you would see of me would be something like this:
And yet there are details that I hate in this image 😬
