The Art Crazy Old Man Knows I Am a Phony But Tells Me to Keep Painting Anyway 2014. Acrylic on panel, 36 x 48"
Happy June and near summer brilliance in the Northern hemisphere!
Unfortunately, this month won’t be such a high time for me. No peace and Elysium in store. I have scheduled myself to clean out the studio, paint it, and create more storage space (cull old paintings, build shelves).
I was insulted twice this week by a close friend. He said I should either paint differently and/or just give up painting altogether. It came out of the blue, like he was quietly thinking this for some time.
For a couple days I was really low. It felt like a hard slap in the face. A purposeful put-down.
And then satori came last evening at lake sunset.
I will paint with new vigor, triple my output, and close the door to the critical world, (but not to love). From now on I will check my friends at their imaginative limitations. Today I will forgive M. when we meet at a mutual friend’s birthday celebration. I might even thank him for the push he gave me toward freedom. He has an American mindset. For him, success is money and can only arrive if it’s dressed in finery. I forgive him his decades long attachment to culture propaganda.
I am young/old with fresh eyes and a studio that needs a good cleaning and rearrangement to fit the next thousand paintings to come.
I am the living flesh of the spirit of the art crazy old man.