I won’t lie. Writing this wasn’t easy. It kept feeling, each time I tried to get the perfect topic, that I was going around in circles. And at every turn, I kept asking myself. “How can I create the perfect ending to this three-week-long post?” I considered my goals, my values, my principles and my general journey through life as a lady and wondered whether it was enough of a thought-provoking topic to share with the world. Enough to let them know that I’d put thought into this.
If I’m being honest, I haven’t gotten “it* together. Far from it. I took a look at the goals that I’d written down in my diary at the beginning of the year. And it was a bit hilarious cause I was peeping to look at it. I guess I already knew that if anything, I’d drifted far away from the lane I’d envisioned for myself.
But I keep telling myself not to lose hope. Making mistakes, rising again, learning and growing, are what make us people. Again, I don’t want to lie, I detest making mistakes. I can’t say that my life needs to be perfect before I find fulfilment but deep down I say, “at least be on the right track.”
My biggest consolation being the fact that while there are external motivators that push us to be a better person, and that’s okay, the one I give myself matters the most. And I’ve not lost hope to be a better person. It’s that resilience and the daily affirmations I give myself that “I’m not a lost soul” that keeps me going through everything that has come my way.
I read a tweet that by being born a Nigerian, life is already leading you 2-0. While it was a funny tweet, I didn’t laugh then and I’m certainly not laughing now. It’s bad enough to be a laughing stock and a constant object of suspicion and disdain internationally, but when you don’t even see brighter days ahead internally as a people, it’s a bigger blow on its own.
The exchange rate of the dollar to Naira since the new government has been rising exponentially and I’ve asked myself constantly when I see the people suffering and crying, hungry and desolate(myself not excluded), “What if God has forgotten we exist? What if we’ve been truly forsaken as a people?” And while I don’t think that’s the case, I can’t fault anyone for thinking the same.
But then I realized by myself that even in the wilderness, the Israelites flourished. Same way even with how terrible things are, there are still people who are in abundance, enjoying goodness and favours at each turn. And it’s not even hard to be like that. If we trust, we believe and in the same vein, we work towards being who we are meant to be, things would fall into pleasant places.
Speaking of my journey is like I’m making myself become a victim, but I’m not. I have experienced some great favours that have shaped my life into being what it is today. There are a few things I’ve picked up along the way though:
Delay Is NOT Denial: We’ve heard this a lot of times but I have seen this as an active force in my life. I’ve learnt to count my blessings and to rejoice even with the disappointments. I’ve learnt to pick up the pieces and not to relent even when it pricks me. I’ve learnt to trust in the big picture no matter how bleak my present seems to be. I mean, if I can’t hope, would it be better to lose my sanity?
**Nice Guys Finish LAST BEST: I mean, this phrase has been used in the most derogatory ways. But I don’t subscribe to nice guys finishing last, they finish best. I’ve come across a lot of things in the last few years and I’m sure I’m not even remotely done witnessing things that make me see that people aren’t nice at all.
I’ve realized that being nice and kind by extension doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and that people would do mean things and not see wrong in it. I, however, have seen the goodness from being kind, things accruing unexpectedly. Nice guys finish best. Because the goodness they show, whether or not it’s being recorded somewhere, counts for them at every step.
It’s OKAY Not To Have It Together: Before, when I messed up on the slightest thing, I would berate myself so badly. I’d scold myself and almost call myself unprintable names cause I’d feel like I have derailed when I shouldn’t have. And no, I don’t do that anymore. Not because I’ve become shameless about the wrong decisions I’ve made and still make in life, but because I realize that making myself feel small with my thoughts and words doesn’t help my situation.
No one can claim to live the perfect life, because no matter how rich, how educated, how well travelled we are, we would still meet challenges at each turn. That’s a testament to the fact that no one can completely have it together. No one lives perfectly. So why push myself and constantly compare myself, and push myself to ridiculous lengths because I feel like I'm behind your peers? There is no competition in life no matter how much we feel like there is. I have just myself and my actions to be accountable for so why hang people’s accolades on my head, not as motivation, but as condemnation?
You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A SMILE: I decided to end like this because looking at the challenges I face daily and the ones we’re facing as a country, if I don’t remember to smile through everything, there’s no way I wouldn’t lose my mind. Smiling through the hurt, smiling through sickness, smiling in happiness, smiling in the wins, smiling in the losses, smiling in disappointment, smiling in health. That’s what I decided to live by this year.
You’re never truly dressed without a smile. I don’t remember anymore who sang that song but could she have put it any more perfectly? If I'm dressed to the tee but carry a world of gloom on my face, what is the essence of the entire outfit?
It’s uncanny that I’ve had all these and more brought up during these three weeks at Creative Work Hour. Where’s a greater place to believe in yourself and trust in your creative power than a place of like-minded people? It’s been an exhilarating journey learning to let ourselves loose and allowing our hearts to take control by @alessandrawhite. Learning to live a life of joy and gratitude by @dreemsteem. Learning to be completely and unapologetically ourselves by @shadowspub and to have kindness, not as a virtue but as a lifestyle by @gregscloud. It really doesn’t get better. Thank you for a month of beauty and impact. Hope to carry these virtues with me in the coming months.
Jhymi🖤
All images created with NightCafe Studio.
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