There is nothing that I wouldn't do for my girls. Indeed, so much of what I do, I do for them. When I first learnt that I was to become a mother, I knew that I was going to devote myself to raising my child and of course later my children. I was super excited to become a mother, it's something I've always wanted. To have a family of my own. My little family, that I put first, every time. When I separated with my girls father, my girls were my number one. Even though times were tough, I held it together for them. When my sister passed and I felt like I could fall apart, I kept holding on, I had to, there was no one else to be there for my girls.
During my grief, it was my girls that pulled me through it. That made me get up each day and do what needed to be done, that remained me that life does continue and that we need to live. To embrace whatever comes our way and never take any day we are gifted, for granted. If I wasn't a mother, when my sister passed away, I don't know how I would have managed my grief. Having them in my life, is a constant reminder of what life is all about, love and connection.
So of course I would put them first. But in doing so, I found that self care takes a back sit. Because I would always put their needs first. I mean isn't that what it's all about when you have children. In a way it is, but if you don't look after yourself then you don't have the energy to really look after them. It's been one lesson in life, that I continue to struggle with. Putting myself first.
I come from a culture ( I think most do) , where putting yourself first is so often viewed as being selfish. Where caring, means looking after others and loving is all about loving others. But how can we really care for others if we don't care for ourselves first. I have written so much about this in the past, mostly to remind myself to do better, to look after myself better, so I don't end up burnt out. Which has happened to me, a few times down through the years. Making me realise how much I need to actually prioritize myself.
Something that is not so easy for us mama's. But I am trying, because by doing so, I am then showing my kids how important self care is. I am showing them, that it is an integral part of what it means to be a happy and healthy human. Which is what I really desire for each of my girls. I don't want them to struggle with self care, I want them to practice it, as easily as they breathe. That it just happens for them.
So in a way, putting my family first, also means prioritizing my own well being.
This is my response to one of the writing prompts from the wonderful Ladies Of Hive Community Contest.....
What do you think about the phrase "𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭?" Do you agree with it? Or do you prefer the phrase "𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲." I would like to know what you think.
