I walked outside and saw that, up there 👆, the other day.
Well it feels like the other day because on the go and there and the other place and then still that other place - and then back again. All the while school and catching up and working in between on a gazillion projects and perhaps I should focus on one and tick it off the list I'll never get around to writing anyway.
But I went outside and saw that, up there, the other day and thought:
"Uh oh... I'd better pack a bag."
Yep I've been there before some years ago when some other arsonists also thought it was a good idea to party on, all over the Western Cape, with high speed winds abounding. It's not a good idea, guys
Back then I had a full three bedroom house, two kids, two cats and a dog to worry about. Alone I sat, in a darkening house, watching the mountain just over there burn brighter and brighter as the sun disappeared behind it.
I kept checking Twitter.
The only time I'd ever used the platform beyond (and I've mentioned this elsewhere) posting to get free credits for a budding gaming addiction. A now signed and sealed gaming addiction (liddle bit) and I don't care anyway because barely any vices left to immerse myself in, you know.
Plus I hardly get to play because the younger human monopolises the Xbox when he's around, mostly, and I have too many hobbies and too little time as it is.
But back then it was Twitter, and the live feeds from random citizens on the ground, that kept the rest of us random citizens more expediently informed of what had sprung up or changed direction. And where.
The message from the local fire department finally came through at around 11pm that night. It was a bit of a contained wild panic as I loaded the car with important papers, my 20" desktop Mac, my guitar, my dance hoop, one small child, one medium child (I think... or she may have been at the other parent because all a blur), the dog and the one cat I could find.
I had to leave the other cat there and hope for the best.
Not so fun.
There was a flair up, some days after we'd returned, and we had to go through the whole mission again.
Mercifully, that time it was around 4pm and still light.
So last week I saw that, up there, as I walked outside...
I began to pack a bag.
I mean half-assed, half packed half a bag because really not much to pack, these days, and no home of my own to lock up and unplug.
The wind was blowing away from the village and we slept through the night but I'd already checked the weather for the following day. As expected, the wind changed direction mid-morning and my son arrived home early from school saying shut-down for the day and all systems go.
That was when I shook myself out of my inter-web-haze induced state of forgot what was going down beyond my screen and checked my phone. Code red and evacuation.
Even unpacked it only took me around half an hour to load the car.
We drove off peacefully, headed straight to Cape Town with no destination organised.
I mean... everything we currently own, that's of any value to us, took half an hour to pack to be clear. And there was still tons of space in the old Datsun.
Thank feck we had a car.
All we left behind were some pots and kitchen utensils, some books and some clothes. Oh... and the goddamned flat screen T.V. I hauled around with us on our travels in 2022.
It was hardly a stress to abandon at all.
Caution to the changing wind and all that.
It hit me again, as we waited at a petrol station just outside of Somerset West, just how different my life is these days.
There was barely anyone to call. And I used to know a ton of people.
Or... I guess I should say I thought I knew a ton of people. But, whereas back in 2022 when we hit a roadblock of sorts and I was both a bit panic stricken and also deeply hurt and somewhat (okay, quite a lot) angry and bitter...
this time I was calm, kinda resigned and pragmatic.
I guess this is the acceptance part of this process.
Finally.
But after a couple of hours of not being able to find an air bnb that I could afford for a night. And after a couple of hours of the ones I could afford not responding. And after a couple of hours of missing lunch and refusing to spend money on the exorbitantly expensive ready made whatevers at the petrol station whatever counters. And after a couple of hours of sweating because damned hot that day...
I did get a liddle bit grumpy.
Not actually even grumpy, really. Just kinda fed up with sitting around and not getting anywhere, with all that admin on a tiny friggin' keyboard and tiresomely liddle screen.
So off we drove towards town regardless of nowhere much to go. Heading South (West-ish)! The sun was headed towards the lower part of the horizon by then, you see, and not keen on breaking down on Cape Town roads between Somerset West and town after dark. Hijackings are common on this particular stretch.
And I was more realistically going to be able to make a plan in Cape Town.
The younger human didn't bat an eye much either, by the way. Some years ago we would both have been in some kinda state. So I guess the sh!t we've walked through over the years has its perks as well.
It most certainly has made us pretty unshakable.
"Pippin and Nugget's Magical Adventures!" I yelled as we headed back onto the highway.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" shouted the younger human enthusiastically.
Geesh people... if you don't know me by now.
But the replies began to come through as we headed past 5pm, and work days were finishing, as we drove.
A friend opened her home and we had a good catch up over some days.
A family member same and it was wonderful to see them after missing Christmas because just too tired to get to town then. And burnt out with the stress of The (wtaf?!) People again.
Quality over quantity now.
Snapped on the wall at the family member's house.
One of my greatest sorrows is how much of the family history we lost during this crisis. So many photographs. So many actual family heirlooms from way back in Shangai. I know it's just "stuff" but it's devastating. To me.
Irreplaceable, really.
Right... moving on before I start to rant about failed "systems" because unconscious humans.
Yes. Quality over quantity now. Feck that, quite frankly.
Because Precious Time.
I've decided to (mostly) become a hermit, by the way. And I'm loving it!
It's far more peaceful.
But, honestly, I think we humans simply become less up for dealing with shite as we get older. It hardly seems worth the effort of socialising when it generally brings so much drama and wheelings and dealings and negotiation and, and, and. As I said...
already too many hobbies and too little time.
Because I still haven't finished the knitting project.
Or the other knitting project.
Or that other project.
I'll say it again. And again...
Yeah it does.
No I didn't disembowel the guy down the road. Yet. 😏
I know, I know. It said "Dusty Pink" on the website and it arrived looking alarmingly like....
Is that Purple, even?
Maybe I'll just let it sit there and look at it some more while I try to figure out how to fix this...
So... progress.
This year it turns out there were three doors open for us in town when the sh!t hit the fan.
That's progress.
Because it wasn't so long ago that there were none. Zero. Nada. Zip.
And that felt pretty scary and sucky both. Especially because I did the "right" thing in full. Principles, you know.
It's just that I did it badly because not very skilled yet.
Understatement...Terrified and hysterical is more accurate.
But polite society prefers cool and smooth to strong and principled these days. Especially if you're a gal. Girls aren't pretty when they sweat, y'know. Unless they're naked in the bedroom. Or kitchen, I 'spose.
And only then if they're hot, goddamit. 😉
But I was talking about progress.
Sometimes I reckon people don't realise just how far they've come. And how much they've grown. I think, if you're having one of those days, that it's a good exercise to write down everything you have accomplished over the last year. Or two.
Try it. Give it a go.
You may (will probably) surprise yourself!
Oh..
Here is what we took with us when we had to evacuate because of the fire...
I'd love to know!
Yep. That, up there, is what we have (at my place anyway) these days, that's of some value to us.
And that's it.
This part was actually pretty satisfying!
In fact, I suddenly realised we could have jumped in the old Datsun and headed West. Or North. Or anywhere without any fuss. Except I can't afford the petrol.
Yet.
And the Datsun broke down a few days after we arrived in Cape Town.
Of course.
But that, as I like to say, is another story.
What We Took With Us
- The laptops (of course) and some extension cords.
- The phones (of course)
- The Xbox (Of course)
- My taped together for years and still going headphones (of course)
- My daughter's birthday present (still unfinished and undelivered since August 2023 because she's impossible to pin down and overworks - go figure - and it's not finished yet anyway)
- The guitar ( Of course and only the one - my mom's one = sentimental value and it also sounds better than mine)
- The dance hoop (of course)
- Some clothing
- The boombox (can't have a decent evacuation and road trip without a soundtrack)
One bag of books limited to:
The Harry Potter Collection
And the ones of mine in this photo here.
The Little Prince and two other Millers would be in there but the one younger human borrowed them and never returned them.
All I can say is that she's lucky she's family.
These books have great sentimental value but I won't get all sentimental on ya. And that's by choice, these days, so don't get yer knickers in a knot, please.
Who knows how to make love stay?
Tell love you are going to Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if loves stays, it can have half. It will stay.
Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a moustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.
Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.”
― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker
There you go. No need for anybody to panic.
Just ask Tom. 👍
And so the journey continues.
But, of course, a good journey needs a soundtrack.
Always.
I hope you're having one of these days...
And if you're not having one of these days, maybe take a few minutes and write down that list of all the things you have done over the last while. 🌤
You may (will probably) surprise yourself!
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee