... Well, not for a few more months now, but still.
For a while now, I've been going back and forth, trying to decide what I wanted my 2024 to look like. I knew I wanted to hit the road, but I didn't know how or which direction I meant to be going. Claimed I didn't, anyway.
In truth, there was always a little voice inside me that whispered Spain. Return to Spain. I spent a little over 2 months living in Andalucia at the end of 2022 and enjoyed myself tremendously. I connected with the place and the people. I still remember the intense mournfulness on the morning of my departure, and the subtle, instant knowledge that I wanted to return someday.
Fast-forward to 2024, I was looking for ways to visit Barcelona for something like a week, maybe ten days, potentially with my folks. And was frankly astounded at the high cost of accommodation. It's no secret that for many popular metropolitan areas, like Barcelona, the worst thing you can do as a tourist is visit for a brief amount of time, as you will pay through the nose.
It didn't take me long to figure out that given Airbnb's weird algorithms and quirky logic, I could stay in Barcelona for a month at roughly the same price I would be paying for one week's accommodation.
Now, I have the sort of brain that immediately recognizes that as a good deal.
Luckily, I also have a lifestyle that doesn't demand a swift return home. I can take my writing with me on the road, and I am lucky enough to have people in my life who'll look after my plants and home for the time I'm away.
In other words, I'm good to go. And once I'd done that math, the idea was firmly planted in my mind.
Which didn't prevent me from engaging in a lot of back and forth. Moaning about money (it's still expensive, even if it's advantageous), and trying to substitute for more budget-friendly destinations.
Which is where lockdown brain comes in.
I've spoken before about the deep FOMO that the pandemic left me with. I regularly ask myself, if they suddenly locked down borders and confined us again, what would I regret not doing?
Now, in my effort to be economical, I'd found all sorts of interesting, cheaper trips through Central or Eastern Europe. But my heart wasn't in them. I realized that if another lockdown came (as I expect it will), I wouldn't give a fuck about having seen Montenegro or not (though I'm sure it's lovely). Barcelona, though, I'd regret.
So I bit the bullet, got confirmation in the early hours, and I'm happy to report a month of my summer will be spent near the beach in Barceloneta. I'm beyond excited and already planning and preparing.
It helped understanding that...
If shit hits the fan, I ain't got the kind of fortune that matters.
As I say, finances were a concern. Browsing endlessly through Airbnb's, I kept being put off by the insane costs. I said no way I can afford that, and not being very mathematical, I almost believed it. Then I started reviewing my finances, and realized that's not quite true.
I could afford it. It wasn't that hard. The problem was I had all these little nest eggs I didn't want to nip into. I just wanted to keep them and see them grow for rainy days.
But then I realized, if shit truly hits the fan, this kinda cash, while helpful, wouldn't really keep me out of a shitty situation for that long.
While it's obviously smart to put some away in case of an emergency, many in our society tend to be penny-wise and pound-foolish, in the sense that they'll look at a trip like this and say no, that's way too much money. What they mean is, that's too much money all in one go. It frightens us to see it all summed up like that.
But these are the same people who have no trouble spending a couple hundred here, a couple hundred there. Like, we'll throw them away on shoes, on some class, on a concert, on a short drive, whatever. Because it's bite-sized and more palatable.
Bite-sized adds up.
I realized, in my fear of the big lump o' cash, that I could spend it all now and be more careful about needless expenditure in the coming months, or I could be "responsible". I could say no to this adventure that my soul wanted, and spend the next six months indulging all sorts of needless shopping sprees or wastes of money because I deserved them. After all, I saved all that money with Barcelona, right?
It's easy to trick yourself, and we often do, forgetting the elementary mathematics we learned in school. Is it that hard to remember that 80$ here, 20$ there add up eventually?
It's interesting. I have friends who'll say traveling is very expensive for them. A luxury they can't easily afford. The subtext there is that I'm fortunate in affording it. I am. I'm aware of that. But I also prioritize differently. I look at such arguments and think, yeah but how much did you spend on your latest online shopping spree? (it's a perilous game, online shopping, kinda feels like Monopoly money) How much is that gym membership? Do you really need another pair of dungarees?
In the end, everything costs money. I think it's more a matter of figuring out what's worth spending them on.