Oh all the time. M and I might talk about going in a certain direction or doing a particular type of modality or intervention in our work and then when it comes time to do it… I just can’t.
I used to try anyway and play along, masking my feelings… and let’s just say that wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever come up with. Just me… doing my old coping mechanisms… from a time when how I felt was of little interest or concern to anyone. I think it took me a while to become convinced that no, really, my feelings are of great interest and concern to M! More and more I just come out and say what I’m feeling and we take a step back and work through it. Five years of therapy has gotten me that far at least.
M doesn’t really use the word “resistance,” though I do. In any case he never views it as something to just push through, but as an indicator of what the system needs to work on next. He told me today… my system knows even better than he does what it needs to work on next. So called resistances are one way the system has of attempting to correct or adjust when therapy is not quite on the right track in a given moment. They are actually incredibly powerful indicators that the wise therapist attends to and learns from.