Oh, that's right. Because it's my life.
— Tessa Dare
Unexpected Visitor
After witnessing another apparition I actually forced myself to go back to bed simply because avoiding sleep was not an option.
I did, however, message Bill Sines to let him know I wouldn't be seeing the clairvoyant in the morning. I was too exhausted to provide any details but I was sure he'd contact me wanting an explanation.
I'm not sure I really wanted to explain my reasons. Frankly, I felt embarrassed. I was convinced I let my imagination get the best of me and over-reacted to the entire situation.
As expected, my cell buzzed at 9 am and I saw it was Bill on the line.
I was tempted to ignore the call and tell him I was out at the time and forgot my cell at home, or some such rot, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to him.
Bill is a good friend and deserves better from me. Sometimes life requires something from you, whether you can do it or not.
I decided to pick up.
"Hey Bill, I suppose you got my text when you woke up?"
I heard him take a deep breath. "What happened, Mark? You were willing to see her. What changed your mind?"
"To be honest, I came to the conclusion that my aversion to Marianne has gotten out of hand and my imagination took over. I think my so-called visions of Marianne are overblown—they're just bad nightmares--nothing more.
"Even if what you're saying is true, the fact is you've been scarred from being in that deliverance ministry and are terrified of anything spiritual.Isabel can help. She's not an exorcist but a counsellor and can make a real difference in your life."
"Look Bill, I appreciate your concern but I don't want or need any kind of spiritual element in my life. I've even stopped going to Mass. I just think the so-called Good News has been bad news for me. I'd rather forget about the whole thing."
Bill softened his tone. "I know you've been through a lot, Pal, and don't worry—you're not going to get an argument from me. I'll pass on your response to Isabel. Maybe go back to sleep and try to get some rest. Phone me if you want a night out or just to talk."
I felt like dog when I hung up the phone. Bill meant well and it's not his fault his best friend is weird.
Yeah, another reason to hate on myself today.
Hell, even when I try to punish myself, I just end up hurting somebody else. Sucks to be me.
I took Bill's advice and slept in until noon—well, almost noon.
I figured I'd just stay in my pyjamas all day and have a day off-not shower, or shave—just bum around and be a slob.
I've never been able to do that before...until now. But now, I don't care. Maybe letting yourself go is just a form of self-hate, and if that's the case, that's about how I feel.
I decide to make pancakes for lunch.
I never eat pancakes, but hey, its a week before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake DAY)—MY BAD—BIG DEAL!
Marianne can channel this: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
I smile to myself as I pass the hall mirror. I look like hell and she wouldn't want me now anyway.
I make the greasiest, messy pancakes I ever made and drown them in melted butter and imitation maple syrup.
And I drink two full glasses of milk.
When I'm done I look at the kitchen—a total mess and catch a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror and can't decide what is messier or worse.
But I'm content—at least, I think I am...and what the hell, if I'm not, I'll channel Rhett Butler's line again...
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
The doorbell chimes and I answer figuring it's Bill dropping by to check up on me like the good friend he's always been.
There's still a stack of pancakes left I was saving for supper...
I know, a heart attack waiting to happen, but I'm on vacation and maybe Death will take a holiday too.
I answer the door with a silly grin plastered on my face and am shocked to see the loveliest female I ever saw standing in pristine beauty on my doorstep—makeup perfect and not a hair out of place.
My stomach flips. I realize Isabel Langford,'the beautiful and gifted clairvoyant' has taken time out of her busy schedule to come visit me.
The day has suddenly gone from bad to worse.