Challenge #04068-K050: Non-Toxic, Hazardous

in fiction •  5 months ago

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    The male knomira screamed at the guard to move aside, he knew what he was doing. The guard grinned to himself and did so. The knomira ended up on his backside, though really it was only his ego that was harmed. To be fair, the guard DID warn him that they still needed to clean up the rest of the spilled, slippery but otherwise relatively harmless, lubricant. -- Anon Guest

    "How can a harmless chemical spill block off an entire walkway? What are you trying to hide? If it's that harmless, why seal off this area? What's hazardous about it?" The Deregger tourist seemed to only one volume setting, which was the top of his lungs. Noise complaints were already coming in about his booming tirade of questions.

    Security Officer Oyle, hands clasped behind her back, weathered the rant with the patience of Buddha. She simply stated, "The chemical itself causes no harm to respiritory, digestive, or nervous systems. Nor does it cause harm in contact with the skin. It has covered a significant portion of the floor--"

    He interrupted, talking as if he thought Oyle was mentally defective. "Du-u-u-ur. That's where spills hap-pen. I ne-e-e-ed to get to my ap-point-ment. Yo-o-ou are not al-lowed to block my pro-gress."

    "In the interests of your continued safety and welfare, I highly advise you seek an alternate route to--"

    "I'm in charge of my safety and welfare! I know my rights! Get out of my way before I call in the real cops."

    Oyle, a 'real cop' raised an eyebrow at that. "Since you have verbally waived my protection and assistance, I must therefore acquiesce." She sidestepped away from the portal.

    The Deregger charged through, with an exasperated, "[FORNICATION] FI-nally!"

    Then his boots made contact with Frictioff(tm), the known universe's slipperiest lubricant. Now with a five year guarantee to keep any moving part moving until actively stopped.

    His foot went forward without him, driving him off balance and onto an extensive, highly slippery, section of flooring. It wouldn't have hurt his ego so much if he was the first to come to a halt by a distant wall. However, there were five other helpless Dereggers failing to move from their predicament.

    "What the [EXCREMENT]? Don't just stand there! Get me out of here!"

    Oyle was grinning ear to ear as she chirped, "I'm sorry, but you verbally waived my protection and assistance. You must now wait patiently for the clean-up crews to arrive with proper solvent. The current estimate for that arrival time is five hours."

    She went back to guarding the doorway and turning aside people attempting to go through.

    [Photo by Robert Anderson on Unsplash]

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