When I’m in the thinker's corner, I always find myself diving so deep into the waters of the soul. This edition of Thinkers Corners Challenge by @kenechukwu97 must not be missed.
Do you know yourself well enough? What are the things that bother you about the way you live your life? How do you feel when dealing with people that have those same attributes?
I'd like to say that I know myself well enough to know what ticks me and ruffles my fathers. The things that make me elated and make my heart sing.
I'm very in tune with my feelings. When they come, we sit and play. I like to put my feelings in check by putting names to them and identifying certain precursors that cause me to feel whatever it is I am experiencing. It helps to put things into perspective.
I learned this over the years and this has helped me a great deal in keeping myself in check. I can now make informed and intentional decisions that are not swayed by mixed emotions.
When I get off-putting feelings, I recognize them instantly before prying eyes do. If there is anyone I cannot put up a front for, it is myself alone. The constant feeling of something unnerving and unresolved in my chest doesn't go away just like that.
The feeling is always there. Even when my mind doesn't want to acknowledge yet that something is bothering me, I feel it in my heart. As soon as I figure it out, I can dismiss it or quickly address the situation.
I think after my mother, (I got it from my mama)I'm about the calmest and unbothered person I know. As long as you aren't hurting me. I'm fine.
Now this is where it gets a little worrisome. I think it is shortsighted on the part of others to assume that just because you let trivial things slide and always want peace, they can do whatever they like. “Oh, she is not going to say a word after all.”
And to their surprise, that's where I let my knives out. When I see that a person is starting to take me for granted, I do not hesitate to call them out. Confrontations will always be uncomfortable for me. That's why I always avoid it. However, my respect comes first.
When I meet people with similar personalities, I more than understand. I understand the distant and guarded conversations because they don't want to be caught off guard. I freaking get the space and silent nods because they are protecting their energy and don't want to be caught between. They don't want people to come along and mistake their quiet space for meekness. I used to be a loner who didn't like earthly interactions. I'm growing out of it because I'm maturing into the spheres of life where I'm realizing that no one is an island and we need each other. I still cherish and create my solitude whenever I need to reunite with my inner self.
I have a teenage cousin staying over at my place. Part of her is a reflection of me. When she first came over, she would not allow herself to be caught off guard. She wasn't walking on eggshells but she moved with a shield. She didn't want to say or do anything that would bounce back at her. So she mostly kept to herself. I wasn't mad at all. Instead, I was amazed that I recognized this pattern in myself.
I let her be. I started to make her feel very comfortable while still being my authentic self. I showed her that I had no weapons of war and that her demons were welcome to dine with mine. Slowly, she started to let her shield down.
Now, I would not say that we are best friends but she is very much herself and comfortable around me. We talk about almost everything without any guilt or judgment. I wish that someone had created that space for me when I was younger. However, it is bliss to know that I gave back what I didn't get to the next deserving person.
Images were generated with Adobe Express.