Hi, guys!
Today I continue to make full-length sketches of characters, and for now I am working with the same character to fully develop it.
Today I spoke with my therapist just before I wrote this post. She thinks it's time for me to be hospitalized, and my psychiatrist thinks so too. But I just can’t decide on this. First of all, I have a puppy at home. And even if my husband somehow copes with two dogs, I still really don’t want to lose this moment when I have a puppy living at home. It's a magical experience that doesn't happen very often.
The most annoying thing about my periodic hospitalizations is that after discharge I have to start all over again each time. Even if only ten days pass, it is still ten days in the hospital under strong drugs, and after returning it is very difficult to start living a normal life again, even to play sports, because during this time the body has time to wean itself from regular exercise. And in the end it turns out that this is my main fear - to end up in the hospital again, and again start all over from scratch. Although of course it’s not zero, it feels exactly like zero every time.
I understand that the sooner I go to the hospital, the less time I will spend there. Therefore, logic dictates that it is better to do it now, and not wait until the last moment. But as I said above, it’s still very difficult for me to decide on this.
I think I need to talk to my husband and talk again with my psychiatrist. Maybe together we can come to some conclusion that will ultimately suit everyone. Of course, the main thing is that it suits me. I hope that in the next publication I will be able to share some decision I have already made, but for now I am in doubt.
After all, everything is going so well now. I’m actively involved in sports again, everything is fine at home, I’m working hard... But for the third day now I haven’t been able to sleep, and this has never ended well :(
